Purpose is a decision more than a feeling: choose a reason to keep going, such as someone who may be waiting for you, knowledge you can preserve, something you are helping to rebuild or simple curiosity about what happens next, and write it down in one sentence. A solo survivor who can answer the question “why am I doing this?” copes with hardship better than one who cannot.
A reason to keep going, chosen deliberately, is what answers the question of why you are doing this when no one else is there to.
The Dangerous Moment Is The Unanswered Question
At some point most people alone ask, “why am I doing this?” If there is an answer ready, the question passes. If there is none, it grows. The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who wrote about his experience in Nazi camps, argued that people endure suffering better when they can see a reason for it. That is one author’s observation and not a law, but it matches what many survivors report and is a useful reason to prepare an answer before you need it.
Sources Of Purpose That Work
- Someone is waiting for you — family or friends you believe may be alive.
- Knowledge preservation — you know things others will need, and surviving carries that forward.
- Rebuilding — you are not only surviving, you are laying a foundation for recovery.
- Curiosity — “I want to see what happens next” is a legitimate reason.
- Defiance — “I refuse to let this beat me” is blunt, but it can work.
Pick whichever is true for you. A purpose you do not believe will not hold.
Method: Making It Real
Step 1: List what matters to you People, skills, places, things you want to do.
Step 2: Choose one reason One that you can state in a sentence.
Step 3: Write it where you will see it In the journal, or somewhere on the shelter wall.
Step 4: Link it to goals Connect the purpose to a long-term goal and to today’s task. See Long).
Step 5: Re-read it at the evening review Particularly on bad days.
Step 6: Revise when it changes Purposes shift. If the first one no longer holds, find the next.
Do Not Wait For It To Appear
Choose one and commit to it. Purpose follows action as much as it precedes it: doing things that matter to you tends to strengthen the feeling that they do.
When The Question Will Not Go Away
If “why bother” turns into a persistent wish to die or to give up on living, that is beyond a motivational tool. See Warning Signs in Yourself and get help from any person you can reach.
Common Mistakes
- Borrowing a purpose that is not yours — it will not hold.
- Having only one, tied to something you cannot confirm — keep a second that does not depend on others.
- Waiting for inspiration — decide, then act.
What’s Next
- Learn next: Maintaining Identity — staying the person who has the purpose
- Combine with: Journaling & Self-Dialogue — keeping the sentence in front of you